Yesterday was my last day at my corporate job. Although it was a long time coming, it still felt extremely odd to take the final plunge. It was months and months of thinking and brooding over facts, finances, future, and so much more.
Here’s what went through my life in the last few months before taking this decision.
1.Something doesn’t feel right
Although I was eating healthy, exercising, talking to my family and friends for long hours, there was something in the back of my mind that was bothering me. I was extremely productive and full of energy during weekends, but I felt utterly drained out during weekdays.
After a lot of self-assessment and sessions with my Life coach, I finally realized the reason.
I wasn’t living my life based on my core values, and I did not have any more motivators to push me forward.
Every individual has a set of core values based on which they design their life. I had realized mine recently. While it’s essential to live by our core values, it’s also important to understand that sometimes it’s not possible to because of financial reasons, health reasons, or something as simple as staying in a job because of the location.
These are our motivators. Motivators help us move forward. It sounds something like “I work because I have to pay my bills. I work because I have to stay in this city to take care of a loved one.”
In my case, I was even out of motivators. For the past four years that I had worked, I had tried to save smartly to sustain at least one year of my life without any paycheck, debts, or dependencies. Once it was clear that I could survive, the choice was straightforward.
2. The Google Searches
While I was clear on the intuition that I was receiving, it was still difficult to convince my inner self. While most people I spoke to were optimistic about the decision, some also put me in a confused state. That’s when all the google searches began.
“Is it okay to quit a job at 29?”
“Is it okay to quit a job while not having a full-fledged plan?”
“Is it stupid to quit a job during a pandemic?”
At the end of the day, I realized that I was continually trying to convince everyone why my decision was right but realized that the only person I had to convince was myself.
3. Ahhhhhh, What did I just do?
One fine morning, I just decided to tell my manager that I will not continue with the company, and the questions started to pour.
“Are you sure?”
“How can we make things better?”
“Is there any way possible to make you stay?”
While I knew the answers to these questions, I was fumbling. Lost! My inner critic was having a party day inside my mind. So, I requested my manager to give me a few more days to rethink my decision. The next day I went to work and still felt the same drained out, out of energy person. My body knew the answer. I finally confirmed that I was FOR SURE quitting.
4. The Notice Period
Omg! People do not warn you about the period between the day you put your resignation and your last day at work. My inner critic again visited me with full force during this period. It said, “Wow.. such a stupid decision! Everyone can manage a job and a passion, why can’t you? Why can’t you be normal, like everyone? What’s wrong with you?”
This was one of the most draining times of my life! I couldn’t sleep, eat properly, and the stress stopped me from enjoying anything. I stopped writing. I stopped talking to my friends. My entire life was on hold.
Finally, when I reached the last week of my work, I had properly wrapped up everything. I felt the weight of my decision slowly getting lighter. I was excited about my next step. All the inner critic B.S suddenly stopped.
5. The Farewell
You would think that you know the people you work with, but you will REALLY know them during your last day. Nothing could have prepared me for it. I did not expect the emotions and beautiful, heartfelt words. That day, I could finally see how people saw me, and I loved it. It made me glad that my decision gave me that beautiful day.
The decision to quit resulted from months of inner work, which pushed me to find myself and act based on my true authentic self. While the job I worked at was terrific (especially the people), it never brought out 100% of my authentic self. I used to feel like I had to put a mask up to show that I was passionate about my work. It just didn’t feel right.
There is no right way to leave a job and follow your passion. There is only your way. I still have nothing concrete planned for what I intend to do next, and I am okay with that. I realized that this is the only life that I have (that I know of), and if I don’t do justice to living my most truthful and authentic self and don’t pause once a while to smell the roses, it is all just a moot point.
Check out my YouTube channel for inspiring videos: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBfUxVSxC0koxGSkwzVRYzQ